Years of infertility has been difficult, but now IVF is harder than I would have thought. It sometimes feels like everything we have ever done to have a child doesn't turn out very well. Getting pregnant ended with miscarriage, adoption ended with the agency closing, IVF rounds one and two ended with complications and loss of embryos.
I'm sure if we have a child one day through all this we will think it was so worth it, but right now it doesn't feel that way. My hubby suggests we just kidnap our niece and nephew instead...hhhmm they are great kids but their mom might notice :)
Well 12 day of Suprefact injections done...21 more days to go.
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Round 3
Well round 2 was a huge disapointment. We transfered 2 perfect little embryos inside of me and they didn't make it. One apparently started to implant and produced some hcg for a barely positive first bloodtest then two days later it was negative. I don't know if other people can understand this but it was a loss of two little lives for me. I saw them on the screen at the clinic, it was very cool. The staff went on about how great they looked. I knew when the were inside of me and I prayed everyday that they would keep growing and developing. I'm sad that they did not.
We talked to the doctor and he said it was a chemical pregnancy that is likely caused by some kind of chromosomal problem with the embryo and it is very common you just often don't even know you ever conceived. With IVF of course we knew every little detail that was happening. It is the same kind of thing that happened in 2005 with our pregnancy that ended at 7 weeks. So now I've had 3 little lives end inside of me.
We took a break in November and are now moving on to round three. I am once again on birth control pills for this next cycle. Then comes injections of suprefact, then the rest of the usual myriad of pills and assorted pokings and prodings. Off to the lab on Monday to check a bunch of stuff. I just got the 3 lab requisition in the mail, one said "do this now", and two said "we'll tell you when to do these. You just do what they say when they say even when you don't feel like it, by the end it feels like a full time job to keep track of it all. The end of my protocol I will be taking: suprefact, metformin, synthroid, estrace, prometrium, doxycycline, low dose aspirin, prenatal vitamin, and an iron supplement...some once a day, some twice a day, some 3 times a day, some 5 times a day. Some by injection, some orally, and some inserted assorted places. I think I need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight! Sometimes I marvel at what it would be like to conceive by having sex with my husband...so easy, so wonderful, so inexpensive. But now we have our embryos waiting for us and I really want them to make it.
We talked to the doctor and he said it was a chemical pregnancy that is likely caused by some kind of chromosomal problem with the embryo and it is very common you just often don't even know you ever conceived. With IVF of course we knew every little detail that was happening. It is the same kind of thing that happened in 2005 with our pregnancy that ended at 7 weeks. So now I've had 3 little lives end inside of me.
We took a break in November and are now moving on to round three. I am once again on birth control pills for this next cycle. Then comes injections of suprefact, then the rest of the usual myriad of pills and assorted pokings and prodings. Off to the lab on Monday to check a bunch of stuff. I just got the 3 lab requisition in the mail, one said "do this now", and two said "we'll tell you when to do these. You just do what they say when they say even when you don't feel like it, by the end it feels like a full time job to keep track of it all. The end of my protocol I will be taking: suprefact, metformin, synthroid, estrace, prometrium, doxycycline, low dose aspirin, prenatal vitamin, and an iron supplement...some once a day, some twice a day, some 3 times a day, some 5 times a day. Some by injection, some orally, and some inserted assorted places. I think I need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight! Sometimes I marvel at what it would be like to conceive by having sex with my husband...so easy, so wonderful, so inexpensive. But now we have our embryos waiting for us and I really want them to make it.
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