Years of infertility has been difficult, but now IVF is harder than I would have thought. It sometimes feels like everything we have ever done to have a child doesn't turn out very well. Getting pregnant ended with miscarriage, adoption ended with the agency closing, IVF rounds one and two ended with complications and loss of embryos.
I'm sure if we have a child one day through all this we will think it was so worth it, but right now it doesn't feel that way. My hubby suggests we just kidnap our niece and nephew instead...hhhmm they are great kids but their mom might notice :)
Well 12 day of Suprefact injections done...21 more days to go.
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Round 3
Well round 2 was a huge disapointment. We transfered 2 perfect little embryos inside of me and they didn't make it. One apparently started to implant and produced some hcg for a barely positive first bloodtest then two days later it was negative. I don't know if other people can understand this but it was a loss of two little lives for me. I saw them on the screen at the clinic, it was very cool. The staff went on about how great they looked. I knew when the were inside of me and I prayed everyday that they would keep growing and developing. I'm sad that they did not.
We talked to the doctor and he said it was a chemical pregnancy that is likely caused by some kind of chromosomal problem with the embryo and it is very common you just often don't even know you ever conceived. With IVF of course we knew every little detail that was happening. It is the same kind of thing that happened in 2005 with our pregnancy that ended at 7 weeks. So now I've had 3 little lives end inside of me.
We took a break in November and are now moving on to round three. I am once again on birth control pills for this next cycle. Then comes injections of suprefact, then the rest of the usual myriad of pills and assorted pokings and prodings. Off to the lab on Monday to check a bunch of stuff. I just got the 3 lab requisition in the mail, one said "do this now", and two said "we'll tell you when to do these. You just do what they say when they say even when you don't feel like it, by the end it feels like a full time job to keep track of it all. The end of my protocol I will be taking: suprefact, metformin, synthroid, estrace, prometrium, doxycycline, low dose aspirin, prenatal vitamin, and an iron supplement...some once a day, some twice a day, some 3 times a day, some 5 times a day. Some by injection, some orally, and some inserted assorted places. I think I need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight! Sometimes I marvel at what it would be like to conceive by having sex with my husband...so easy, so wonderful, so inexpensive. But now we have our embryos waiting for us and I really want them to make it.
We talked to the doctor and he said it was a chemical pregnancy that is likely caused by some kind of chromosomal problem with the embryo and it is very common you just often don't even know you ever conceived. With IVF of course we knew every little detail that was happening. It is the same kind of thing that happened in 2005 with our pregnancy that ended at 7 weeks. So now I've had 3 little lives end inside of me.
We took a break in November and are now moving on to round three. I am once again on birth control pills for this next cycle. Then comes injections of suprefact, then the rest of the usual myriad of pills and assorted pokings and prodings. Off to the lab on Monday to check a bunch of stuff. I just got the 3 lab requisition in the mail, one said "do this now", and two said "we'll tell you when to do these. You just do what they say when they say even when you don't feel like it, by the end it feels like a full time job to keep track of it all. The end of my protocol I will be taking: suprefact, metformin, synthroid, estrace, prometrium, doxycycline, low dose aspirin, prenatal vitamin, and an iron supplement...some once a day, some twice a day, some 3 times a day, some 5 times a day. Some by injection, some orally, and some inserted assorted places. I think I need a spreadsheet to keep it all straight! Sometimes I marvel at what it would be like to conceive by having sex with my husband...so easy, so wonderful, so inexpensive. But now we have our embryos waiting for us and I really want them to make it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
This is odd
Well we have our plan. I will fly back to Victoria the first week of October to have two embryos transfered. Mike will stay home so we don't have to pay for another flight and well he's too nervous to come in for the transfer anyways. So there we have it I will fly off to try to get pregnant...no husband needed. How weird is that, getting pregant doesn't require hubby anymore just Dr. H and his team. The whole concept of having sex and getting pregnant actually seems like some strange concept that only works in a place i don't live LOL.
Oh yeah and I heard back from my new friend who was doing the IVF at the same time as me. She had her pregnancy test on Monday and it was POSITIVE! I'm super happy for her and hope her babies stay around for a very long time. Today would have been my pregnancy test if I'd had my transfer on the 13th as planned. Ah well I'm good at waiting after all we've done of it so far...well sort of good. I am glad I'll be healthy for the transfer this time though.
Oh yeah and I heard back from my new friend who was doing the IVF at the same time as me. She had her pregnancy test on Monday and it was POSITIVE! I'm super happy for her and hope her babies stay around for a very long time. Today would have been my pregnancy test if I'd had my transfer on the 13th as planned. Ah well I'm good at waiting after all we've done of it so far...well sort of good. I am glad I'll be healthy for the transfer this time though.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Here we go again
Some people say IVF is a roller coaster and I do agree with that but at the moment it feels more like a merry go round and I'm at the beginning again. I was having trouble hearing back from my clinic to confirm they got my message about it being cycle day one and I was starting to worry I'd miss the timing on something. Last time no one got my email and I started birth control too soon because I misunderstood some directions. Since I have no idea what's involved in doing this frozen embryo transfer (FET) I wasn't sure what I had to do on what day. Well they called and talked to Mike and i got home too late to call them back. So apparently I'm to take birth control pills for a couple of weeks then I don't know what cause I never got to actually talk to anyone. So here we go again....step one to making a baby is always: take birth control pills....ah of course I should have known!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thankful
Well some parts of this IVF didn't go very well but it got me thinking to all the things that I am thankful for about it all:
-My dear hubby who drove us all the way to Victoria and back. I love his sense of humour through it all...yes there is alot of humour to be found in fertility treatments! He hung out for many days in a little cottage while I was sick and we didn't get to go out at all. He took good care of me. On the second last day at the clinic he even managed to stay in the room for my ultrasound and doctor's demonstration of how to inject blood thinners, and instructions on what to stop taking and what to continue. Good thing because he remembered more about anything the doctors said than I did that day.
-My mom who still doesn't quite understand how all of this works but wants to know all the updates and keeps on telling me it will work out fine. She also has blessed us with some money towards the treatments. Couldn't ask for a better mom.
-Our 10 beautiful embryos. It was sure hard to get them but we are very fortunate to have so many that are doing so well. It was kind of weird to get the daily updates from the lab and hear the lady go on and on about how fabulous our embryos were doing. Nothing ever seems to go well for us on the trying to have a child front but she just kept giving glowing reports day after day. There's no guarantees, but the quality of the embryos is the biggest factor in pregnancy success so this is good. Many people go through a whole IVF cycle and end up with no embryos to freeze and try again so we are blessed with our 10!
-The VFC lab has recently started using a new way to freeze embryos called vitrification and it helps the embryos to do very well in the whole process and makes the success rates much closer to that of fresh embryos. Good for us to be there after they started using it.
-For freezing before IVs...thank you Dr. H!
-For the kind, caring, and friendly staff at VFC
-For my new friend that I met in Victoria who is also a patient at VFC. We were one day apart in our cycles but she'd done several IVFs before so she was so great to talk to about what was going on. She's going to take the day off work when go back to Victoria for my transfer and she'll pick me up at the airport and take me to the clinic. I had to laugh because when i was in for my egg retrieval the clinic was on the phone asking her how she was doing since hers was the day before. She knew I was there at the clinic so she had them say hi to me. I pray this will be her last IVF and she will be blessed with a baby soon.
-That this is my last day of GATORADE! This stuff is seriously NOT a thirst quencher. I should email the Gatorade company and say "I have been drinking one litre of gatorade a day for the past two weeks and I have never been more thirsty!" I secretely wonder if the RE's of the world all have stock in the gatorade company and that's why they make all their patients drink it. I should ask Dr. H!
-That I no longer look 6 months pregnant and I can now walk faster than a 100 year old woman. Seriously all the extra fluid I had and my crazy giant ovaries made my belly stretch so huge I thought I didn't have enough skin to cover it all. I could only walk at a snails pace. It's pretty much normal now, the rest is just extra fat I think!
-That my ohss got better and not worse, I thankfully did not need to have fluid drained!
-My dear hubby who drove us all the way to Victoria and back. I love his sense of humour through it all...yes there is alot of humour to be found in fertility treatments! He hung out for many days in a little cottage while I was sick and we didn't get to go out at all. He took good care of me. On the second last day at the clinic he even managed to stay in the room for my ultrasound and doctor's demonstration of how to inject blood thinners, and instructions on what to stop taking and what to continue. Good thing because he remembered more about anything the doctors said than I did that day.
-My mom who still doesn't quite understand how all of this works but wants to know all the updates and keeps on telling me it will work out fine. She also has blessed us with some money towards the treatments. Couldn't ask for a better mom.
-Our 10 beautiful embryos. It was sure hard to get them but we are very fortunate to have so many that are doing so well. It was kind of weird to get the daily updates from the lab and hear the lady go on and on about how fabulous our embryos were doing. Nothing ever seems to go well for us on the trying to have a child front but she just kept giving glowing reports day after day. There's no guarantees, but the quality of the embryos is the biggest factor in pregnancy success so this is good. Many people go through a whole IVF cycle and end up with no embryos to freeze and try again so we are blessed with our 10!
-The VFC lab has recently started using a new way to freeze embryos called vitrification and it helps the embryos to do very well in the whole process and makes the success rates much closer to that of fresh embryos. Good for us to be there after they started using it.
-For freezing before IVs...thank you Dr. H!
-For the kind, caring, and friendly staff at VFC
-For my new friend that I met in Victoria who is also a patient at VFC. We were one day apart in our cycles but she'd done several IVFs before so she was so great to talk to about what was going on. She's going to take the day off work when go back to Victoria for my transfer and she'll pick me up at the airport and take me to the clinic. I had to laugh because when i was in for my egg retrieval the clinic was on the phone asking her how she was doing since hers was the day before. She knew I was there at the clinic so she had them say hi to me. I pray this will be her last IVF and she will be blessed with a baby soon.
-That this is my last day of GATORADE! This stuff is seriously NOT a thirst quencher. I should email the Gatorade company and say "I have been drinking one litre of gatorade a day for the past two weeks and I have never been more thirsty!" I secretely wonder if the RE's of the world all have stock in the gatorade company and that's why they make all their patients drink it. I should ask Dr. H!
-That I no longer look 6 months pregnant and I can now walk faster than a 100 year old woman. Seriously all the extra fluid I had and my crazy giant ovaries made my belly stretch so huge I thought I didn't have enough skin to cover it all. I could only walk at a snails pace. It's pretty much normal now, the rest is just extra fat I think!
-That my ohss got better and not worse, I thankfully did not need to have fluid drained!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Our embryos
The lab director called today and told us she froze 10 embryos for us and they are all between grade 16-19 out of 20. This is very good and I'm thankful we have these embryos. I do hope some of these little lives will make it into our arms one day and I'm thankful for the awesome people at VFC that helped to make it possible. I have to say all the staff at the clinic are friendly and warm and kind and do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable. There is only one doctor there and he apparently works everyday...I was there on everyday of the week including the holiday and there each time was Dr. H. He's very kind and patient and is always available. He does every ultrasound and puts in every needle himself. Well he did all my needles anways cause no one else could find a vein! He even gives patients his home number to call in case of emergency. He apologizes for hurting you and wants me to let him know we made it home safe and I'm feeling ok...gotta love that. This was a very difficult week and i don't think i ever want to repeat it but I'm still glad it was at VFC!
Friday, August 13, 2010
No transfer after all :(
I couldn't have my embryo transfer today. I have mild ohss and fluid in my abdomen. Getting pregnant would make it worse. We're disappointed but sure don't want to get any sicker. We will have up to 8-9 embryos to freeze and we can come back for a frozen embryo transfer next month. This is much easier than the whole fresh cycle we just did. We can just fly in, have the transfer and go home. Frozen cycles have lower chances of success unfortunately but God willing we may still get pregnant.
I can stop most of my meds now except the one for ohss and the low dose aspirin. I also have to give myself injections of a blood thinner for the next few days. This is to prevent blood clots. The doctor did the first one today-ouch. He also offered to give me IV fluids to rehydrate me but when I reminded him I just drank 4 glasses of water he said "oh yeah and I know how much you love IVs...you should be ok". I'm to stay on the fluid restrictions for another week but he did say I can drink some milk. The ohss will go away on it's own.
This was alot to go through. I don't think I could handle doing another fresh cycle again. So glad we have some frozen embryos. We'll stop in at the clinic tomorrow for the doctor to check on me. Well off to drown my sorrows in milk and cookies and then maybe sleep.
I can stop most of my meds now except the one for ohss and the low dose aspirin. I also have to give myself injections of a blood thinner for the next few days. This is to prevent blood clots. The doctor did the first one today-ouch. He also offered to give me IV fluids to rehydrate me but when I reminded him I just drank 4 glasses of water he said "oh yeah and I know how much you love IVs...you should be ok". I'm to stay on the fluid restrictions for another week but he did say I can drink some milk. The ohss will go away on it's own.
This was alot to go through. I don't think I could handle doing another fresh cycle again. So glad we have some frozen embryos. We'll stop in at the clinic tomorrow for the doctor to check on me. Well off to drown my sorrows in milk and cookies and then maybe sleep.
transfer day
Today I'm going in for the transfer soon. Just drinking my 4 cups of water to have a full bladder first. Yesterday was a very bad day, I felt very sick. The doctor thought part of it was a reaction to an antibiotic so I stopped taking it. I suspect i may have some ohss too, we'll see what he says when we go to the clinic soon. Well better get back to drinking water...at least it's not gatorade!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Quick update
Just a quick update before bed. We now have 17 embryos, most are very high quality. The lab director and the doctor are super pleased as of course the quality of the embryos is the biggest predictor of pregancy. Since we have so many good ones they decided not to transfer today but to let them grow until Friday to see if it becomes more obvious if some are better than others. Today they pretty much all look fantastic which they said is a good problem to have.
I'm still on the fluid restriction which makes me feel kinda lethargic and I'm starting to hate all flavours of gatorade. They all taste the same!! The doctor says two weeks of this!! Ah well what can you do. I had my last calcium infusion today so officially no more needles. I seriously look like a drug addict now with all my bruises and marks but they will go away soon so no problem.
I decided to stop taking tylenol 3 and gravol round the clock. I still have a fair bit of nasea and soreness but it`s manageable. I`m not supposed to go out in the sun and I walk as slow as an 85 year old woman with my soreness but hey at least I`m in a nice place! Actually we`ve been able to do a few nice things and just lots of sleeping and resting.
Well the embryo transfer is on Friday at 10:00! Then I will be PUPO! (pregnant until proven otherwise). Thanks to my friends and family for the prayers and support.
Good night.
I'm still on the fluid restriction which makes me feel kinda lethargic and I'm starting to hate all flavours of gatorade. They all taste the same!! The doctor says two weeks of this!! Ah well what can you do. I had my last calcium infusion today so officially no more needles. I seriously look like a drug addict now with all my bruises and marks but they will go away soon so no problem.
I decided to stop taking tylenol 3 and gravol round the clock. I still have a fair bit of nasea and soreness but it`s manageable. I`m not supposed to go out in the sun and I walk as slow as an 85 year old woman with my soreness but hey at least I`m in a nice place! Actually we`ve been able to do a few nice things and just lots of sleeping and resting.
Well the embryo transfer is on Friday at 10:00! Then I will be PUPO! (pregnant until proven otherwise). Thanks to my friends and family for the prayers and support.
Good night.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A good report!
I went back to the clinic this morning for another calcium infusion and I got to talk to the lab director about our embryos. We have 18 embryos which she graded on a scale that goes up to 20 where 15-16 is average quality and 20 is perfect. We have 4 embryos graded at 20! We have lots that are 19, 18, 17. She seemed very pleased with these results. I have to go in tomorrow prepared to do a day 3 transfer but very likely we will get to wait until Friday for a day 5 transfer. It is often better to do it on day 5 because as the embryos grow a bit more it becomes easier to tell which are developing better so you can transfer the very best ones back. The doctor said since I am a "youngster" (at 34 lol) and I have very good quality embryos I could have good success with transfering just one. The pregnancy rates would be a bit lower with transfering one versus two so hubby and I need to talk about it. The downside of transfering two is the chance of twins which can have more potential of risks to the babies and to me.
I also found that having an IV in the underside of your wrist is not pleasant...ah only one more IV tomorrow, hope they can find one more vein. Oh and since i can pretty much only drink gatorade I decided I needed to explore other flavours other than the 6 pack of blue that hubby bought me the other day.
Wow I can't believe something related to trying to conceive is actually going well for us...grow little embies grow!
I also found that having an IV in the underside of your wrist is not pleasant...ah only one more IV tomorrow, hope they can find one more vein. Oh and since i can pretty much only drink gatorade I decided I needed to explore other flavours other than the 6 pack of blue that hubby bought me the other day.
Wow I can't believe something related to trying to conceive is actually going well for us...grow little embies grow!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Good and Bad
Well I had my egg retrieval yesterday. They said I wouldn't feel pain just some pressure. Wrong...it was painful and my veins are hard to find for the IV too. The nurse tried twice to put the IV line in and she couldn't...this hurt a ton. Then the doctor came in and put freezing on my other hand...he got the line in and I didn't feel it. They got 22 eggs which is a very high number...no wonder I'm hurting!
They are doing eveything possible to prevent OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome-a potentially bad complication where fluid builds up in all sorts of places it shouldn't). I'm on fluid restrictions to prevent fluid building up in my body. I can only drink one litre of gatorade and one can of V8 per day. I'm quite sore and naseous...it hurts to walk around. I also have a ton of things I'm taking post retreival.
And the good news is that we talked to the lab director today and out of 22 eggs, 20 were mature and 19 fertilized. This is a great fertilization rate. Tomorrow we will hear how many embryos we have and how they are doing.
I also have to go in every morning for an IV calcium infusion which helps prevent OHSS. I was worried about the IV going in again but Dr. H God bless him, did the IV using freezing and it was ok. We had to hang out for an hour while the stuff dripped through. The nurse was really nice and gave me a can of gingerale. She said it would be ok to have one a day in addtion to the gatorade and V8. This made me very happy...it's hard to drink so little.
Well soon we'll know the status of our embryos...grow little guys grow!
They are doing eveything possible to prevent OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome-a potentially bad complication where fluid builds up in all sorts of places it shouldn't). I'm on fluid restrictions to prevent fluid building up in my body. I can only drink one litre of gatorade and one can of V8 per day. I'm quite sore and naseous...it hurts to walk around. I also have a ton of things I'm taking post retreival.
And the good news is that we talked to the lab director today and out of 22 eggs, 20 were mature and 19 fertilized. This is a great fertilization rate. Tomorrow we will hear how many embryos we have and how they are doing.
I also have to go in every morning for an IV calcium infusion which helps prevent OHSS. I was worried about the IV going in again but Dr. H God bless him, did the IV using freezing and it was ok. We had to hang out for an hour while the stuff dripped through. The nurse was really nice and gave me a can of gingerale. She said it would be ok to have one a day in addtion to the gatorade and V8. This made me very happy...it's hard to drink so little.
Well soon we'll know the status of our embryos...grow little guys grow!
Friday, August 6, 2010
YAY!
Levels came down, just finished hcg shot and egg retrieval will be on Sunday at 8:15 am. It was tricky to mix the shot and get 3/4 of a dose out but I did it! Remind me never to be a nurse. I've had enough injections for a lifetime...but it's done.
I got to meet a lady today who is currently cycling at my clinic. Her egg retrieval is tomorrow morning. This is unfortunately her 4th IVF so I hope it is successful for her. We had lots in common, married the same time and with a similar history of IF issues. It was good to talk to her too because she made me feel more at ease about the ER on Sunday. Hers have always gone well and been quite easy. Oh and she had the cutest pupppy too!
Well I don't have to go to the clinic tomorrow or do any injections...double yay. I do get to start on the next set of meds but they are oral so that's all good.
Ok now we're really doing this...by next week I will have embryos inside me!
I got to meet a lady today who is currently cycling at my clinic. Her egg retrieval is tomorrow morning. This is unfortunately her 4th IVF so I hope it is successful for her. We had lots in common, married the same time and with a similar history of IF issues. It was good to talk to her too because she made me feel more at ease about the ER on Sunday. Hers have always gone well and been quite easy. Oh and she had the cutest pupppy too!
Well I don't have to go to the clinic tomorrow or do any injections...double yay. I do get to start on the next set of meds but they are oral so that's all good.
Ok now we're really doing this...by next week I will have embryos inside me!
Blood draws-uggg.
Well today was my forth blood draw this week and it was awful. One of the coordinators tried to do it and it did not work at all and it hurt a lot. The doctor saw her trying and came in to help. He was successful but wow I don't want to repeat that. My arm looks like it's been through a war zone. The doctor says my veins are just very hard to find...great. They sent me home with another dose of orgalutran and they will call later to say if I should inject that or the trigger shot. Did I mention I'm not a fan of orgalutran cause it hurts? Ok well there`s all my whining about painful blood draws and injections. I was joking with the lady that was giving me my meds as I left. She said 'here's your orgalutran' and I said 'what would a morning in Victoria be without it?' She said it reminded her of a lady who'd said 'nothing like a pelvic ulrasound to start your day". LOL I guess humour helps! Fortunately no more ultrasounds for me at the moment...those hurt too when your ovaries are ginormous and you have a million follicles. Ok no more whining. Off to see the ocean!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Now I get it
I asked more questions today about my bloodwork and it looks like my E2 levels are too high and that's why I've stopped my meds. They need to come down before I can trigger and do the egg retrieval. They had already predicted I'd be a high responder to the meds and yup I am...lots of follicles and high E2 levels even with my low doses of meds. This puts me at risk for OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) which is not a good thing for me or the cycle. So praying that my levels come down and I don't get OHSS. The doctor didn't seem overly concerned and I may have to take a med after trigger that helps prevent OHSS so I hope it's all good.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Almost there
Well the good new is I only have to inject one med tonight, not three and likely for the last time. The bad news is I think I look like an IV drug user...oh well it's all for a good cause. No one can get blood out of my right arm anymore so my left arm is full of marks and bruises. I'm off for one more blood draw in the morning, hopefully my last for a while. Today the doctor said I wouldn't have to take two of my meds anymore and I might be able to do the trigger shot tonight which would mean egg retrieval on Saturday. I was actually more excited than nervous about the retrieval which surprised me. They sent me home with the trigger shot and a whole pile of things I have to take after retrieval. They said they'd call later with the bloodtest results and instructions on how to give myself the injection of the trigger shot. I had the meds with me while sightseeing so I could understand the directions and I even turn down a whale watching trip today so as to avoid a phone conversation about fertility treatments while on a boat with 10 strangers. Anyways they called and said not tonight and come in the morning for more bloodwork...so retrieval will be Sunday or later. Still getting close!
I have thought about what it would be like if this fails....it will be unimaginably difficult after all we have gone through and spent. I'm not going to dwell on that...it will be a huge disappointment no matter what so I'm going allow myself to be excited for now.
I'm feeling more peaceful about the rest of the procedures which is nice.
I have thought about what it would be like if this fails....it will be unimaginably difficult after all we have gone through and spent. I'm not going to dwell on that...it will be a huge disappointment no matter what so I'm going allow myself to be excited for now.
I'm feeling more peaceful about the rest of the procedures which is nice.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
We made it
We had a good drive to Kamloops and then on to Victoria. Victoria is beautiful and the cottage we're staying in is nice. We had our first visit to the fertility clinic yesterday. The bloodwork from Edmonton on Friday had showed that my E2(hormone) levels were quite high but they weren't sure why. I didn't really feel comfortable hearing that but followed instruction and started a third injectable med.
I was very happy to hear yesterday that my ultrasound showed everything is going well and the doctor said it may be ony 2-3 more days of injections...YAY...I'm not really enjoying them but it's too late to quit now so every night I keep it up!
My dear hubby was extremely nervous at the clinic. He was in the room with me during the ultrasound but he then went back to the waiting room part way through. I was fine! He won't be coming in the room with me anymore! The staff was so nice...the nurse said one of them would come in with me during the egg retreival as hubby can't handle it. Well we go back tomorrow for monitoring and to hear when we will move on to the rest of the plan. I am nervous for the egg retrieval..I hope they use lots of drugs as it is done under conscious sedation. I am glad we are at this clinic. The staff is very friendly and they do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable. They even give you a heating pad and little socks to keep your feet warm.
I'm really glad I'm not working during this as I feel tired all the time, and have other assorted weird symptoms including mood swings that well isn't like me at all....good thing dear hubby is understanding and I can nap whenever I want and see the beautiful ocean all the time too.
I was very happy to hear yesterday that my ultrasound showed everything is going well and the doctor said it may be ony 2-3 more days of injections...YAY...I'm not really enjoying them but it's too late to quit now so every night I keep it up!
My dear hubby was extremely nervous at the clinic. He was in the room with me during the ultrasound but he then went back to the waiting room part way through. I was fine! He won't be coming in the room with me anymore! The staff was so nice...the nurse said one of them would come in with me during the egg retreival as hubby can't handle it. Well we go back tomorrow for monitoring and to hear when we will move on to the rest of the plan. I am nervous for the egg retrieval..I hope they use lots of drugs as it is done under conscious sedation. I am glad we are at this clinic. The staff is very friendly and they do whatever they can to make you feel comfortable. They even give you a heating pad and little socks to keep your feet warm.
I'm really glad I'm not working during this as I feel tired all the time, and have other assorted weird symptoms including mood swings that well isn't like me at all....good thing dear hubby is understanding and I can nap whenever I want and see the beautiful ocean all the time too.
Friday, July 30, 2010
I like Benadryl
Well I think I found a way to help the big red sore itchy reaction to the repronex. I took Benadryl and lots of ice yesterday and today the reaction is less. YAY!
The thing is that Benadryl has the same ingredient as unisom a sleep aid. The pharmacist said it would make me sleepy and wow is it ever true. I took 2 at 5:30 and went to church at 7 the other day. I was literally struggling to keep my eyes open and the whole thing was about rest. I would have gone home to sleep except I had something to do after. By about 10:00 I felt ok again. Yesterday I went to sleep at 8:30...well I'm going to be really fun on our trip! Ah well better than the itchy welts. Only about 8 more days of these injections.
Well I'm off to the lab soon to check how things are progressing and see if I need to start a third injectable med tomorrow. Then back home to do laundry and pack up for the trip tomorrow. Poor Monty has no idea his world is going to change tomorrow...he's off to 17 days at the kennel!
I'm off to see the ocean!
The thing is that Benadryl has the same ingredient as unisom a sleep aid. The pharmacist said it would make me sleepy and wow is it ever true. I took 2 at 5:30 and went to church at 7 the other day. I was literally struggling to keep my eyes open and the whole thing was about rest. I would have gone home to sleep except I had something to do after. By about 10:00 I felt ok again. Yesterday I went to sleep at 8:30...well I'm going to be really fun on our trip! Ah well better than the itchy welts. Only about 8 more days of these injections.
Well I'm off to the lab soon to check how things are progressing and see if I need to start a third injectable med tomorrow. Then back home to do laundry and pack up for the trip tomorrow. Poor Monty has no idea his world is going to change tomorrow...he's off to 17 days at the kennel!
I'm off to see the ocean!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Getting sort of better
Well day two of injections went better. I was more confident and figured out a bit better way of doing things. It took less time too and I still had a supportive friend there which was great. I am also having a reaction to one of the meds though. From Monday's injection I still have a large red area all around the injection site and it still hurts to touch it two days later. I asked the clinic about it and they got back to me just after yesterdays injection saying it's common and to try taking benadryl beforehand and using ice. I did lots of ice yesterday and the reaction from yesterday seems less red/sore but still there. I'll do benadryl today. They said if it gets worse they may have to switch me to a different med. I don't really want that because I have a whole supply of a very expensive medication and what happens if I need to switch? Hoping and praying these reactions fade away. Otherwise I'm going to start running out of places to inject. Hmmm starting to think there are more fun ways to conceive! Ah well fun is over rated anyways...this is an adventure right?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Who's afraid of needles??
I AM!
Well I have successfully given myself two injections today. It was harder than I thought. When I go for bloodwork at the lab I never watch, that works great there but when I'm the one sticking the needle in I have to watch! It was all good until the moment I had to do the first injection. It took a while to work up to doing it...I'd start to do it and when the needle hit my skin I'd back out. Soo then there were several spots of blood where I kept starting and stoping. But hey I did it! The medication that came in a pen was alright, I think I can do that one again. The other one that needed to be mixed and given with the syringe actually hurt a fair bit after...maybe it's normal for that med?
I was very glad to have a friend there for support...I don't think I could have done it alone! Well no more needles til tomorrow...I'm sure it gets easier and hey I did it!
Well I have successfully given myself two injections today. It was harder than I thought. When I go for bloodwork at the lab I never watch, that works great there but when I'm the one sticking the needle in I have to watch! It was all good until the moment I had to do the first injection. It took a while to work up to doing it...I'd start to do it and when the needle hit my skin I'd back out. Soo then there were several spots of blood where I kept starting and stoping. But hey I did it! The medication that came in a pen was alright, I think I can do that one again. The other one that needed to be mixed and given with the syringe actually hurt a fair bit after...maybe it's normal for that med?
I was very glad to have a friend there for support...I don't think I could have done it alone! Well no more needles til tomorrow...I'm sure it gets easier and hey I did it!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Should I?
Hubby doesn't want me to get excited thinking the IVF might work for us. I get it he doesn't want me to be excited because he doesn't want me to be disappointed if it doesn't succeed. I know it may not but on the other hand this is the best chance to conceive we've had and I am excited at the possibility of success. If it fails yes I will be very disappointed but hey I'm pretty experienced at that so I guess it's a risk I'm willing to take.
We also talked about what we will do if it fails. If we have frozen embryos we will go back and transfer them because well they are our embryos and also a frozen embryo transfer (FET) is much easier and less costly than a whole fresh IVF cycle. I'm not sure if we would do another fresh IVF cycle or just give up. Hubby thought kidnapping some children would be another good option...he was kidding of course! He suggested his little nephew would be a good prospect :) I dunno, his sister might notice if he was gone!
Anyways at this point I'm just trusting God through each step and I am excited! Dear hubby has his own perspective and I understand it too.
We also talked about what we will do if it fails. If we have frozen embryos we will go back and transfer them because well they are our embryos and also a frozen embryo transfer (FET) is much easier and less costly than a whole fresh IVF cycle. I'm not sure if we would do another fresh IVF cycle or just give up. Hubby thought kidnapping some children would be another good option...he was kidding of course! He suggested his little nephew would be a good prospect :) I dunno, his sister might notice if he was gone!
Anyways at this point I'm just trusting God through each step and I am excited! Dear hubby has his own perspective and I understand it too.
Friday, July 23, 2010
I'm ready!
I did my bloodwork today to make sure I'm suppressed and ready for the heavy duty meds. I got the results and I'm good to go for injections on Monday. I decided I better check out the box of meds and make sure I know what I'm doing. Well at first I could not find the needles for one of the meds so I called the clinic and figured out it was in the box with the DVD...ahh ok I should have known that. Then I called back with another question and now I think I'm good. I'm ready...I actually want to start the injections and get this all going! At least I think I do. No seriously I feel good about all this and I think I can do it.
Every time I go to the lab with my requisition from the doctor in BC I get asked if I live in Victoria...nope. We chose to go to the Victoria Fertility Centre because it has an amazing reputation. Well I never ever thought I'd be doing this but bring on the IVF!
Every time I go to the lab with my requisition from the doctor in BC I get asked if I live in Victoria...nope. We chose to go to the Victoria Fertility Centre because it has an amazing reputation. Well I never ever thought I'd be doing this but bring on the IVF!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Done!
No more birth control pills! If anyone's wondering why I'm taking birth control pills while wanting to get pregnant...no worries I'm not crazy. I'm only taking them for the few weeks pre-IVF at specialists direction to be able to control the timing of the treatment.
I get my IVF meds in the mail directly from my clinic and I get the rest of my meds at the local pharmacy. Every time I go in for refills they kindly let me know that I have lots of refills left on the birth control pills and do I need anymore. It would be funny if next time I can say 'no I don't need them...I'm pregnant...I only take birth control pills while trying to get pregnant and it worked so I don't need anymore thanks!"
Well our trip is all booked. We leave next Saturday. Monty is booked for his vacation at the kennel and we get to drive through the mountains on to BC. I can't imagine that in a month I could be pregnant. I want to be hopeful and excited but I'm kinda scared to deal with the crash of a negative. The bible is so true "hope deferred makes the heart sick BUT when the longing is fulfilled it is a tree of life" I so hope this works out.
I get my IVF meds in the mail directly from my clinic and I get the rest of my meds at the local pharmacy. Every time I go in for refills they kindly let me know that I have lots of refills left on the birth control pills and do I need anymore. It would be funny if next time I can say 'no I don't need them...I'm pregnant...I only take birth control pills while trying to get pregnant and it worked so I don't need anymore thanks!"
Well our trip is all booked. We leave next Saturday. Monty is booked for his vacation at the kennel and we get to drive through the mountains on to BC. I can't imagine that in a month I could be pregnant. I want to be hopeful and excited but I'm kinda scared to deal with the crash of a negative. The bible is so true "hope deferred makes the heart sick BUT when the longing is fulfilled it is a tree of life" I so hope this works out.
Monday, July 19, 2010
So close!
Well only two more days of taking birth control pills then bloodwork on Friday to make sure I'm good to start injections next Monday. Ahhh we're really doing this! It's pretty hilarious to be taking birth control pills and prenatal vitamins at the same time but hey it's all for good reason.
.
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Sunday, July 11, 2010
Random thoughts
My dear sweet hubby was chatting with a family member who has a young baby who isn't sleeping much. The mom is having a hard time with it. Hubby suggested she could give the baby to us. He was just kidding of course but I love that he loves kids and wants to have a baby with me.
Oh yeah I do know that having a new baby can be hard and as much as we want to have one, I love my sweetie though and I think we could be good parents together.
It's been interesting watching the family baby boom the past few months. We were at a family gathering and there were tons of young babies. Hubby is the oldest but now everyone else is catching up and having babies. I was chatting with one young cousin who was talking about his new baby and their plans for number two baby...then I realized he was 8 years old at our wedding!! Ah well perhaps now is the perfect time for us. I'm not so bothered by seeing everyone else's babies anymore...I don't want their baby...just ours! Although when someone made a comment that maybe there was something in the water causing all the babies that was contagious and should be stopped I did mention that I would LOVE for it to be contagious..trying to hint its a not very helpful thing to say in front of the infertile long time married woman who really wants a baby...ahhh the things people say when they're not thinking!
I watched the DVDs on how to inject myself with the meds. Hubby left the room...couldn't even watch. I think its going to be ok after the first one or two and thankfully I have a friend to help me out the first time at least.
Three weeks till we leave...this time next month I should have some embryos snuggling up inside...hopefully for a very long stay.
Oh yeah I do know that having a new baby can be hard and as much as we want to have one, I love my sweetie though and I think we could be good parents together.
It's been interesting watching the family baby boom the past few months. We were at a family gathering and there were tons of young babies. Hubby is the oldest but now everyone else is catching up and having babies. I was chatting with one young cousin who was talking about his new baby and their plans for number two baby...then I realized he was 8 years old at our wedding!! Ah well perhaps now is the perfect time for us. I'm not so bothered by seeing everyone else's babies anymore...I don't want their baby...just ours! Although when someone made a comment that maybe there was something in the water causing all the babies that was contagious and should be stopped I did mention that I would LOVE for it to be contagious..trying to hint its a not very helpful thing to say in front of the infertile long time married woman who really wants a baby...ahhh the things people say when they're not thinking!
I watched the DVDs on how to inject myself with the meds. Hubby left the room...couldn't even watch. I think its going to be ok after the first one or two and thankfully I have a friend to help me out the first time at least.
Three weeks till we leave...this time next month I should have some embryos snuggling up inside...hopefully for a very long stay.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Romance?
Well some say that conceiving a baby should be romantic. I think that's highly over rated...not romance... I like romance but I'm fine with how our children will hopefully be conceived. Ok well actually what I came across in some research about IVF is that some people think it's wrong to separate reproduction, the conception of a child from the intimacy between a couple. Like those two things are created by God to inherently go together and to do it artificially is wrong.
Well I won't even be there at all when my children are conceived. It will not be an intimate act between my husband and I. It will be a process involving injections, and sedation, and doctors and nurses and yes hopefully hubby there too. Conception will be done by an embryologist while hubby and I are else where. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to do this! I look at some situations where a child is conceived 'naturally' but in circumstances of violence and pain. That child is still a precious life despite the difficult circumstances of their conception. If we are blessed to have a baby in our arms one day that child will have been conceived because we so wanted to have him and went through a whole lot of challenging things for the possibility. That child will also be a precious life and no less a gift from God than any other.
Well I won't even be there at all when my children are conceived. It will not be an intimate act between my husband and I. It will be a process involving injections, and sedation, and doctors and nurses and yes hopefully hubby there too. Conception will be done by an embryologist while hubby and I are else where. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to do this! I look at some situations where a child is conceived 'naturally' but in circumstances of violence and pain. That child is still a precious life despite the difficult circumstances of their conception. If we are blessed to have a baby in our arms one day that child will have been conceived because we so wanted to have him and went through a whole lot of challenging things for the possibility. That child will also be a precious life and no less a gift from God than any other.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Countdown!
So 16 more days of birth control pills...hopefully last ones I'll ever need to take!
18 more days til next bloodwork.
Three weeks until injections start
Thirty-three days til we leave for our drive to Victoria!
Ok here's where the countdown gets more sketchy but anyway:
Around 5-6 weeks until our egg retrieval and embro transfer
AND around 7-8 weeks until we find out if our cycle was successful!
18 more days til next bloodwork.
Three weeks until injections start
Thirty-three days til we leave for our drive to Victoria!
Ok here's where the countdown gets more sketchy but anyway:
Around 5-6 weeks until our egg retrieval and embro transfer
AND around 7-8 weeks until we find out if our cycle was successful!
Friday, July 2, 2010
The meds are here...think I'll ignore them for now!
Canada Post brought me a package full of drugs, needles, a sharps container, and instructional DVDs. I think Monty had the right idea wanting to bark and get the lady to go away! I glanced through it and decided to ignore the whole thing for now!
There was one extra envelope from the clinic with a sticky saying if I needed to do a half dose of one of the meds here were some extra needles as they tend to get dull if used a second time. Dull needles...sounds fun!
You're supposed to pick a time between 6-9 pm and do the injections at the same time. I think when we travel we're going to be either driving or on the ferry at that time of day...I guess it's all portable and by that point I should have no problem injecting myself in a bathroom or something...I should be a pro by then.
Ok well still going to ignore the package of needles and drugs. Next step bloodwork on July 23!
There was one extra envelope from the clinic with a sticky saying if I needed to do a half dose of one of the meds here were some extra needles as they tend to get dull if used a second time. Dull needles...sounds fun!
You're supposed to pick a time between 6-9 pm and do the injections at the same time. I think when we travel we're going to be either driving or on the ferry at that time of day...I guess it's all portable and by that point I should have no problem injecting myself in a bathroom or something...I should be a pro by then.
Ok well still going to ignore the package of needles and drugs. Next step bloodwork on July 23!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
peace? hope?
This whole journey of trying to become parents has been a whole lot longer and more difficult than I ever would have thought. We've long ago stopped trying to do anything to conceive, then also stopped doing anything to try to adopt either. Trying to conceive over years with known issues is not fun...so anyone who says "at least you can have fun trying" has no idea. So we stopped trying and just enjoyed our relationship. So with going to IVF now it is strange to have a pretty decent chance of actually conceiving and even having a choice in the timing of it. At first I was way to scared to let myself even hope this might work. Now I know it may or may not work but I'm letting myself hope that it will. I'm letting myself think a little bit about us actually having a baby. It is strange to even type that phrase. Like when the doctor told me to start taking a prenatal vitamin to "prepare for getting pregnant". It's like only other people get pregnant and have babies...not us. But I hope we do and I find peace in knowing God is with us no matter what. He sees us, he knows us, and he cares about the desires of our heart.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Can't think of a title LOL
Well looks like I kinda messed up. I was supposed to start birth control pills on day 3 and go for bloodwork on day 2-5 they told me. I emailed on day one and asked for the requisition to be sent to the lab so I could I thought go on Monday (day 4). I didn't hear back from them on Friday so as directed I started bcps on Sunday. Turns out on Monday that the bloodwork had to be done BEFORE starting the bcps...oops they didn't exactly make that clear. They said it was ok as everything else looked good. Ah well I avoided one poke!
I got the consents and protocol this week. Lots to think about with the consents...like should we limited how many eggs are fertilized, what happens to extra embryos, what happens to them if we die, or our relationship 'terminates"? We don't anticipate those happening but we have to decide what to do..freeze them, donate them to research, let the clinic destroy them. A lot depends on whether or not you view an embryo or a fetus for that matter as a human life. (I do) If we got pregnant with more than twins our clinic would recommend aborting one of the babies. There are ways to avoid multiple births and we will be looking closely at them....no worries I will be having one or two at the most embryos transfered. Still all kinds of things to consider.
I was happy that due to my pcos my drug protocol calls for lower doses of meds and it looks like fewer injectables than I might have thought. Fewer meds also means lower cost which is great as these meds are super crazy expensive. It looks like I get to just stay on bcps for a while and don't start any injections until July 26! This is good as for some protocols you do bcps then add in an injectable medication to help suppress your ovaries while continuing the bcps, then start more injections to stim. I only have the bcps for suppression then do the stims from July 26 for about 12-14 days. The clinic said they're shipping the meds on Tuesday and they come with a DVD and are straightforward...still nervous!
Ok next step...doctors appointment on Monday for a lovely exam and probably more bloodwork...getting used to the bloodwork now I think.
I can do this right?
I got the consents and protocol this week. Lots to think about with the consents...like should we limited how many eggs are fertilized, what happens to extra embryos, what happens to them if we die, or our relationship 'terminates"? We don't anticipate those happening but we have to decide what to do..freeze them, donate them to research, let the clinic destroy them. A lot depends on whether or not you view an embryo or a fetus for that matter as a human life. (I do) If we got pregnant with more than twins our clinic would recommend aborting one of the babies. There are ways to avoid multiple births and we will be looking closely at them....no worries I will be having one or two at the most embryos transfered. Still all kinds of things to consider.
I was happy that due to my pcos my drug protocol calls for lower doses of meds and it looks like fewer injectables than I might have thought. Fewer meds also means lower cost which is great as these meds are super crazy expensive. It looks like I get to just stay on bcps for a while and don't start any injections until July 26! This is good as for some protocols you do bcps then add in an injectable medication to help suppress your ovaries while continuing the bcps, then start more injections to stim. I only have the bcps for suppression then do the stims from July 26 for about 12-14 days. The clinic said they're shipping the meds on Tuesday and they come with a DVD and are straightforward...still nervous!
Ok next step...doctors appointment on Monday for a lovely exam and probably more bloodwork...getting used to the bloodwork now I think.
I can do this right?
Sunday, June 20, 2010
No more chances
I got an email from my doctor saying my progesterone showed I had ovulated and should have gotten my period, or be getting one soon or be pregnant. NOPE I am not pregnant and I have just taken my first birth control pill which means I will not be having any spontaneous miraculous pregnancies. I have over the years hoped for one and prayed for one so many times.
This made me remember 5 years ago when I was pregnant...how in the world did that even happen? My issues make it hard to conceive, my dear hubby's make them even harder, so hard that they said we can't even do regular IVF but need to do a special form of it called ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). It was like we had this amazing miracle but we didn't know it was a miracle...then it was gone so quickly never to happen again.
I am thankful for that short experience of being pregnant. I remember getting the positive test at home and telling Michael. I remember going to the doctor and getting the call at work that confirmed I was pregnant. I remember telling our parents. I remember going shopping for a vehicle with Mike's friend thinking our Neon might be too small for us one day. I remember thinking how great our dog Shadow would be with a baby. I remember going out with my friend Elana thinking about how our kids would be close in age and could grow up friends like we had. I remember thinking how cool it would be to be pregnant on Mother's Day.
We lost our baby a week after finding out about her (or him I don't know). It was April 17 on my mom's birthday on a Sunday. I went to her house to tell her what happened then went home. The doctor said miscarriage was very common and there was no reason to think I wouldn't be pregnant again soon. Month after month after month after year after year after year it has not happened. Six Mothers Days have gone by. Our dog died a few years ago, our new dog is a year and a half. My friend's son is 6 now. We did get a bigger car, had it for 3 years, the lease ended and we've got another one. We've celebrated 13 years of marriage this year.
This made me remember 5 years ago when I was pregnant...how in the world did that even happen? My issues make it hard to conceive, my dear hubby's make them even harder, so hard that they said we can't even do regular IVF but need to do a special form of it called ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). It was like we had this amazing miracle but we didn't know it was a miracle...then it was gone so quickly never to happen again.
I am thankful for that short experience of being pregnant. I remember getting the positive test at home and telling Michael. I remember going to the doctor and getting the call at work that confirmed I was pregnant. I remember telling our parents. I remember going shopping for a vehicle with Mike's friend thinking our Neon might be too small for us one day. I remember thinking how great our dog Shadow would be with a baby. I remember going out with my friend Elana thinking about how our kids would be close in age and could grow up friends like we had. I remember thinking how cool it would be to be pregnant on Mother's Day.
We lost our baby a week after finding out about her (or him I don't know). It was April 17 on my mom's birthday on a Sunday. I went to her house to tell her what happened then went home. The doctor said miscarriage was very common and there was no reason to think I wouldn't be pregnant again soon. Month after month after month after year after year after year it has not happened. Six Mothers Days have gone by. Our dog died a few years ago, our new dog is a year and a half. My friend's son is 6 now. We did get a bigger car, had it for 3 years, the lease ended and we've got another one. We've celebrated 13 years of marriage this year.
Friday, June 18, 2010
ahh the irony!
Well cycle day one is finally here! I emailed the clinical coordinator who is apparently not into today so hopefully the other person she said to email will send my requisition to the lab. I'm supposed to go for bloodwork on day 2-5 so Mondy I guess I'll be back at the lab....they're going to be seeing lots more of me I think.
And now for the irony...on Sunday I get to start taking birthcontrol pills! This step one in the whole IVF protocol. It gives the doctor the ability to "manipulate my cycle" and suppress my ovaries. Yes a man I've never met said he wants me to take pills to "manipulate you" and I said "hey sure no prob" LOL it's fine given the context. Anyways in order for my dear hubby to possibly be a father next Fathers Day, this Fathers Day I start taking birthcontrol pills....how strange!
So we're really starting this whole thing. After the bloodwork on Monday I think they figure out the whole rest of our protocol. Next will come injections of a drug to help supress my ovaries then later more injections to stimulate them to produce lots of follicles. Yes I am nervous about the injections!! Maybe I'll feel better when we get to talk to the clinic about the whole protocol and all the steps. Ok no wait I was supposed to take this one step at a time.. ok yeah I can take a birth control pill...trying not to think about the rest of it!
And now for the irony...on Sunday I get to start taking birthcontrol pills! This step one in the whole IVF protocol. It gives the doctor the ability to "manipulate my cycle" and suppress my ovaries. Yes a man I've never met said he wants me to take pills to "manipulate you" and I said "hey sure no prob" LOL it's fine given the context. Anyways in order for my dear hubby to possibly be a father next Fathers Day, this Fathers Day I start taking birthcontrol pills....how strange!
So we're really starting this whole thing. After the bloodwork on Monday I think they figure out the whole rest of our protocol. Next will come injections of a drug to help supress my ovaries then later more injections to stimulate them to produce lots of follicles. Yes I am nervous about the injections!! Maybe I'll feel better when we get to talk to the clinic about the whole protocol and all the steps. Ok no wait I was supposed to take this one step at a time.. ok yeah I can take a birth control pill...trying not to think about the rest of it!
Monday, June 14, 2010
My mom
Well my mom is very supportive of our plans and wants to know the latest updates. She had her children in the 60s and 70s and doesn't know anything about all high tech fertility treatments out there. She hates it when I use abbreviations so I try not to but I still forget and say IVF and pcos...she's caught on to IVF I think!
The other day she was asking me about how some of the things would work and then she was asking if I'd have to refridgerate the medications while we travel. I said I thought maybe but I wasn't sure if the first motel we stay at has a fridge in the room. Mom said I could ask them to put the medication in a motel fridge. I mentioned that there was no way I'd let the meds out of my sight as they are so expensive, mom asked how much they cost. When I told her at least $2000-$3000 she was kinda shocked and said she maybe wouldn't complain about her $25 prescriptions. We're actually fortunate with my pcos I'll likely needs less meds and so have a lower cost than some.
Well mom may not get the details of the treatment but she's a good listener and I'm glad to have her. I haven't talked at all to my father in law about it...wonder what he thinks?
The other day she was asking me about how some of the things would work and then she was asking if I'd have to refridgerate the medications while we travel. I said I thought maybe but I wasn't sure if the first motel we stay at has a fridge in the room. Mom said I could ask them to put the medication in a motel fridge. I mentioned that there was no way I'd let the meds out of my sight as they are so expensive, mom asked how much they cost. When I told her at least $2000-$3000 she was kinda shocked and said she maybe wouldn't complain about her $25 prescriptions. We're actually fortunate with my pcos I'll likely needs less meds and so have a lower cost than some.
Well mom may not get the details of the treatment but she's a good listener and I'm glad to have her. I haven't talked at all to my father in law about it...wonder what he thinks?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
I want this to be easy...what are the odds?
Well in the past things never go well with trying have children. Getting preganant ended badly. Going to the fertility clinic for testing ended badly. Our adoption homestudy was not a good experience but ended happily with us being an approved waiting family THEN the agency closed so that ended badly too. Soo here in our IVF journey I just want everything to be smooth and easy...what are the odds of that happening?
Well so far so good! We got an appointment at the Victoria Fertility Centre within two weeks of our first call to them. We were told we could start treatment whenever we wanted. My mom gave us some money to help with the cost. I had no icky side effects of taking metformin 3X/day. I've lost some weight. All our appointments have been scheduled at convenient times. Hubby successfully completed all his tests. Alberta Healthcare paid for the genetic tests. My ultrasound looked good and now the clinic just called and said I ovulated! YAY....this mean cycle day one will come on its own, I can start birth control pills, then on to the drugs, drugs, drugs!
Maybe this is going to be ok after all.
Well so far so good! We got an appointment at the Victoria Fertility Centre within two weeks of our first call to them. We were told we could start treatment whenever we wanted. My mom gave us some money to help with the cost. I had no icky side effects of taking metformin 3X/day. I've lost some weight. All our appointments have been scheduled at convenient times. Hubby successfully completed all his tests. Alberta Healthcare paid for the genetic tests. My ultrasound looked good and now the clinic just called and said I ovulated! YAY....this mean cycle day one will come on its own, I can start birth control pills, then on to the drugs, drugs, drugs!
Maybe this is going to be ok after all.
Ok body...get with the plan!
Well the next step is supposed to be to email the clinic on day one of my next cycle, then they'll send the requisition to the lab for more bloodwork on day 3 and I'll start birth control pills on day 3 too. Apparently my body is not into the plan as it's day 47 with no day one in sight. I asked what to do as the whole thing needs to be timed with our not flexible travel dates. (ie huge deposit on accomodation paid).
They said my ultrasound looked like I was about to ovulate but the doctor wanted my to go for bloodwork to confirm. Sooo off I went to the lab again in the morning. It's funny cause the last time I had bloodwork they took lots of vials as I was having a gazillion things tested and it was fine leaving me thinking this is ok, needles aren't so bad maybe I can stick some in my own body. But the little test for one thing with one little vial of blood was uggh. I wasn't watching but it felt like a whole lot of poking and turning and ouch. When I flinched the lady told me not to move my arm...kind hard to do with that ole pain response thing your body has! Ah well maybe it was her technique...I'm sure mine will be muuuch better right?
At least there were no spiders present!
Well now to wait for the results and the plan and hopefully talk to the doctor again, find out the rest of the test results and what we do next. It's all getting close...they'll be shipping the meds next month....we're really doing this!
They said my ultrasound looked like I was about to ovulate but the doctor wanted my to go for bloodwork to confirm. Sooo off I went to the lab again in the morning. It's funny cause the last time I had bloodwork they took lots of vials as I was having a gazillion things tested and it was fine leaving me thinking this is ok, needles aren't so bad maybe I can stick some in my own body. But the little test for one thing with one little vial of blood was uggh. I wasn't watching but it felt like a whole lot of poking and turning and ouch. When I flinched the lady told me not to move my arm...kind hard to do with that ole pain response thing your body has! Ah well maybe it was her technique...I'm sure mine will be muuuch better right?
At least there were no spiders present!
Well now to wait for the results and the plan and hopefully talk to the doctor again, find out the rest of the test results and what we do next. It's all getting close...they'll be shipping the meds next month....we're really doing this!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Ultrasounds and Spiders
I had an ultrasound the other day. The kind where they tell you to drink 32 oz of water an hour before your appointment then they make you wait while you feel like you're going to die if you don't pee then they bring you in and poke your bladder. Soo remembering last time I decided forget it I'm not following instructions. This is big as I always follow instructions and I had a secret fear that if I drank less water or not as much before hand as they said, then I would get there and they'd say my bladder wasn't full enough for what they needed. But in the end I drank less and only 45 minutes before to account for the inevitable waiting in the office. It felt easier than the last time so I'm glad I did that as it was still hard to wait.
Soo while I was waiting and trying not to pee I tried to skim a magazine. They had one about reproduction which I rarely see in a waiting area so I checked it out. There was an article about positive thinking helping with fertility. They actually suggested you look in the mirror and say "I am a vibrant fertile woman".....Seriously??? Ok well I'm all for being positive but I'm pretty sure this isn't the cure for my and his issues. It did make me laugh though! That sure would be cheaper than IVF!
The ultrasound was relatively fine which is good to know as I'm sure it is the first of many. It was a nice clinic in Millwoods but there was a MASSIVE spider in the bathroom. The ultrasound lady was nice and killed it for me! Good for her...I think spiders are yuck!
I got an email from the fertility clinic saying "the ultrasound looked good!!!". Excellent as I had a secret fear that they would find something wrong that would delay the IVF. Ok can you tell I have a few secret fears about the whole thing? I am learning to trust God each step sooo good learning experience.
Soo while I was waiting and trying not to pee I tried to skim a magazine. They had one about reproduction which I rarely see in a waiting area so I checked it out. There was an article about positive thinking helping with fertility. They actually suggested you look in the mirror and say "I am a vibrant fertile woman".....Seriously??? Ok well I'm all for being positive but I'm pretty sure this isn't the cure for my and his issues. It did make me laugh though! That sure would be cheaper than IVF!
The ultrasound was relatively fine which is good to know as I'm sure it is the first of many. It was a nice clinic in Millwoods but there was a MASSIVE spider in the bathroom. The ultrasound lady was nice and killed it for me! Good for her...I think spiders are yuck!
I got an email from the fertility clinic saying "the ultrasound looked good!!!". Excellent as I had a secret fear that they would find something wrong that would delay the IVF. Ok can you tell I have a few secret fears about the whole thing? I am learning to trust God each step sooo good learning experience.
Two ways to have a baby
Well I was thinking about our potential path to having a baby through IVF versus the "normal way" that most people have a baby. Sooo most people who want to conceive a baby just have sex around the time of ovulation and if all goes well sperm meets egg and voila conception happens.
Our journey is a bit more complicated. Here's how we hope to conceive a child...
March: start researching the best fertility clinics in western Canada.
April: choose the Victoria Fertility Centre and call for information. First consult with doctor over the phone
May: get prescriptions and requistions for tests in the mail. Start metformin 3 times/day, start pcos friendly eating plan, go for bloodwork for every imaginable thing from genetic tests to HIV to hormone levels, physical for hubby, etc etc.
Book accomodations in Victoria, start figuring out how to pay for everything
June: book kennel for puppy, book ferry for busy long weekend, get ultrasound done, set up plan to have medical expenses go through my company, start birth control pills to suppress normal cycle, go for more bloodwork.
July start injectible fertility drugs...yes I have to give them to myself.
August: drive to Kamloops, stay over night, drive to Vancouver, take the ferry to Victoria,
Continue injections, go for daily monitoring at clinic, do some fun stuff inbetween people checking out my uterus, take shot to trigger ovulation, get looped up on drugs so my eggs can be retrieved from my ovaries, have hubby's sperm injected into eggs to make embryos (yay conception!), wait while embryos are cultured (allowed to grow) for 3-5 days, get reports on embryo development, meet with doctor to decide how many embryos to transfer and what to do with any extra ones, have one or two embryos transfered back into me, enjoy resting while hubby treats me like a princess for a few days and then drive back 15 hours to pick up the puppy and get home. Then wait for 2 weeks and go for bloodtest to see if I'm pregnant.
Sooo slightly more complicated but it's funny that this seems totally normal to me like this is just how you have a child. The whole have sex and make a baby thing just seems like a myth to me!!
Our journey is a bit more complicated. Here's how we hope to conceive a child...
March: start researching the best fertility clinics in western Canada.
April: choose the Victoria Fertility Centre and call for information. First consult with doctor over the phone
May: get prescriptions and requistions for tests in the mail. Start metformin 3 times/day, start pcos friendly eating plan, go for bloodwork for every imaginable thing from genetic tests to HIV to hormone levels, physical for hubby, etc etc.
Book accomodations in Victoria, start figuring out how to pay for everything
June: book kennel for puppy, book ferry for busy long weekend, get ultrasound done, set up plan to have medical expenses go through my company, start birth control pills to suppress normal cycle, go for more bloodwork.
July start injectible fertility drugs...yes I have to give them to myself.
August: drive to Kamloops, stay over night, drive to Vancouver, take the ferry to Victoria,
Continue injections, go for daily monitoring at clinic, do some fun stuff inbetween people checking out my uterus, take shot to trigger ovulation, get looped up on drugs so my eggs can be retrieved from my ovaries, have hubby's sperm injected into eggs to make embryos (yay conception!), wait while embryos are cultured (allowed to grow) for 3-5 days, get reports on embryo development, meet with doctor to decide how many embryos to transfer and what to do with any extra ones, have one or two embryos transfered back into me, enjoy resting while hubby treats me like a princess for a few days and then drive back 15 hours to pick up the puppy and get home. Then wait for 2 weeks and go for bloodtest to see if I'm pregnant.
Sooo slightly more complicated but it's funny that this seems totally normal to me like this is just how you have a child. The whole have sex and make a baby thing just seems like a myth to me!!
First blog ever
Well I'm a contemplator and a writer so I thought a blog would be a good way to express all the many thoughts I'm having on our journey to hopeful parenthood. I don't know if I'll share this with anyone or just keep it for my own memories of this time.
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